Marked For Life
Thursday’s CT scan was quite a momentous occasion! I’d say it ranks as my No. 1 least favorite experience thus far. So much so that I’m not even sure I want to go into that many details. Can I just say, getting cancer in what I used to think was my most private area on my body has really left NO room for modesty. All’s fair game when your doctor has to wear what appears to be a miner’s headlight in order to examine your tumor. I half to expect her to yell, “Cover me, I’m goin’ in!” when she gets settled into her exam chair.
Let’s see, memorable moments about the affair…
1) I now have tattoos inside my body. I mean, screw the nipple piercings or any other adornments the youth choose to mark their badassery. How many people can claim they were so tough they got a tattoo INSIDE THEIR VAGINA?! I am now among that exclusive group. It hurt. A lot. It was the first time I cried on the exam table. No sobbing or anything. Just a stoic couple of tears with a few ragged breaths. I would say the tears were 50% from pain, 50% just plain ol’ over the sheer number of pelvic exams I’ve had. Through calming yoga breaths I muttered, “why couldn’t I have just gotten cancer on my arm?” My response was a volley of pitying looks and apologies from my doctor and nurses.
All in all, I think I held up pretty well. I always picture myself like a samurai in those situations. Calmly enduring my situation and focusing on a point in the ceiling. “This too shall pass” and all that jazz.
2) I also have 3 new tattoos on the outside of my body. Little dots: one on each hip and one right above my pubic bone. Those and my own personal mold for my feet and legs while I’m on the table will ensure that the radiation hits the same exact spot every time.
I was a little bummed that the dots are on such fleshy spots on my body. I don’t think I’ll be able to make them into anything once I’m done with treatment. That (ok AND an exotic beach vacation) was what I was most hoping for to commemorate this journey. Ah well.
*Chemo doctor consult Tuesday the 24th.
*I might try to make it to a “new patient orientation” that Wednesday. The first hour is for all cancer patients; the second is an orientation for those going through chemo.
*A “dress rehearsal” for radiation Friday the 27th.
*Treatment starts (cross fingers) Monday, July 30th. Two months and six days from diagnosis, if anyone is counting.
- ayunfinished said: The mask/mold thing is creepers. Mine is a full bust of ky head and shoulders, and I get golted to the tanle beneath it every day, thats whe the valium comes in…
- xdesecrate-thru-purityx likes this
- louise09 said: Oh and my next round of chemo is on the 30th! We can compare battle stories hehe : )
- countingbackwards likes this
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